Freshmen class axed by totalitarian left

In an effort to make Amherst Regional High School in Massachusetts conform to militant feminist orthodoxy, the school's administration has officially banned the name "freshmen" from the school's lexicon in favor of the generic term "9th grade".

It seems that the word "freshmen" is now considered oppressively male chauvinistic in this liberal New England town because of the word's masculine second syllable. As reported in WorldNetDaily, "Although Amherst is the first high school in the nation to ban the words "freshman" and "freshmen" from all official uses, the trend began in some local colleges – including Amherst, Smith and Mount Holyoke.

Said crackpot Bolshevik assistant principal for student support, Marta M. Guevara, "We just want to have a conversation and have a dialogue and see what makes sense to our school. We want conversation, we want for kids to bring forward their thinking. It's a great conversation to make them aware of the possible misogynistic, oppressive or non-inclusive language."

The idea to rid the school of all language with masculine connotation began to take shape two years ago during Amherst's "Violence Against Women Week", that culminated with a student production of the controversial male bashing play, "The Vagina Monologues".

No word yet as to whether male students will be permitted to continue urinating in traditional bathroom stalls, or if those stalls will be replaced with less sexist restrooms that will require males to sit when relieving themselves.

Also, Guavara would not confirm or deny the rumor that all male students will be forced to write letters of apology to the female student body for having been born into the gender which has historically oppressed and abused women, started all wars, committed most of the world's violent crime, and has continued to show very little compassion for the emotional needs of women everywhere.

Good thing we are pouring so much money into public education, eh? Well, at least the Pledge of Allegience and the Ten Commandments have been banned to protect our kids from unwanted indoctrination.

-MZ