Kumbaya and Mazal Tov

Sometimes you read something that just makes you stop, shake your head, and wonder what in the hell is happening with the world. Today was one of those moments, as I read about the latest abomination out of the Soviet Socialist Republic of Berkley.

According to a report in today's JTA from Sue Fishkoff, apparantly only 22% of the Jews in the bay area are affiliated with a synagogue. The other 78% seem to have completely lost their minds.

Here are some juicy excerpts of liberalism run amok for your entertainment pleasure.

"Sam Sontag’s parents wanted him to have a bar mitzvah, but they aren’t religious and felt it would be hypocritical to join a congregation. Shalva Sorani is active in her Berkeley, Calif., congregation, but when she faced a mastectomy her friends wanted a female rabbi to lead their all-women healing circle.

These are some of the people served by Rachel Brodie and Julie Batz, founders and co-directors of The Ritualist, a Bay Area-based nonprofit that researches and supports independent Jewish life-cycle rituals. "

ALL WOMEN HEALING CIRCLE? Well, is it time for group vomiting to the tune of kumbaya yet? No... you need more, you say?

OK, here's more:

"'It’s a growing trend nationwide,' Brodie says. A Jewish educator who holds a master’s degree from the Conservative movement’s Jewish Theological Seminary, Brodie says people began asking her to do their Jewish ceremonies almost a decade ago. The phenomenon is going on especially in the San Francisco Bay Area, a region with particularly low affiliation rates."

Look, if the Conservative movement has fallen this far under the spell of liberalism I can see why they are losing membership nationwide. Perhaps she's just a renegade "Rabbi" who's not representative of Conservative Judaism, but who the hell knows anymore?

And lastly:

"As the two women built up their database of facilitators, and as more Jews heard of their work and started contacting them, they found themselves providing a personal referral service. Some, says Batz,”are on the margins of the Jewish community,” often because they’re interracial or interfaith couples, or are gay or lesbian. They want to mark life-cycle events Jewishly, but don’t feel comfortable in traditional congregations."

OK, what the hell is this "life cycle event" crap? I'm guessing it's the first time a man puts on a dress. The first time one has sex with a donkey. The first time one tries heroin. We certainly need to have a Jewish experience for all those special Kodak moments, so everybody get ready...

And a one.
And a two.
And a three.

Kumbaya and mazal tov and mazal tov and kumbaya - PUUUKKE ... HEEAAVE ... BAARRFF!!

Such simchas, such nachas, I'm just kvelling.

-MZ